The ECCC's "Ask A Pro" Forum

Here is a forum where riders can ask questions of experienced pros - no question too basic or too advanced! Email your questions to amyw[at]alum.dartmouth.org.

Dear Amy,

After racing last weekend my teammates and I were driving back to school, and we stopped at a highway McDonalds for some hearty post-race nourishment. I was standing in front of some of my teammates in line, and two of them started laughing at me for having a "cat 5 tattoo." I was too embarrassed to ask them -- what are they talking about?

Thanks,
When did I get a tattoo?

Amy Wallace, 2005 ECCC Champion, Responds:
Dear Tattooed -

Ah, the cat 5 tattoo. So classic. Well, this is a huuuuge faux pas of bike racing which should be avoided / erased at all costs! Which leads me to...

Ten Awesome Tips to Make it Seem Like You've Been Bike Racing Since Birth!!

1. We'll start with that "cat 5 tattoo." First of all, let me explain the "cat 5" business. That is short for "category 5", which is the entry-level category you would race if you signed up for your first USCF (non-collegiate) race. But that's for men only - women's racing categories start at 4. For both men and women, you work up to a cat 1 which is the highest level. In any case, both men AND women can fall victim to the cat 5 tattoo - which literally is a "tattoo" of your greasy chain ring imprinted on your leg when you bumped into your bike. Amateur!! Avoid running your chain ring into your leg and getting these silly tattoos. If you do accidentally do it, you can usually rub it out with your glove/hand before anyone notices. If you _can't_ rub it out with your hand, maybe you should consider cleaning your chain more often.
2. That little clear plastic disk that comes on a brand new bike in between the cassette and the spokes on your rear wheel - get rid of it! It's a pain in the butt to cut this thing off, but never let anyone see you riding around with a silly plastic disk on your rear wheel!
3. Your mom was right, yes, you do have to wear your helmet. You should always wear your helmet on race weekends anytime you are on a bike. Even if you've already raced and you're tooling around the parking lot, even if you're just spinning to registration or the porta-potty or to cheer around the course. More than one ECCC racer in the recent past had to go to the ER in a non-race related bike accident! Plus, it's also a rule to always have your helmet on at races.
4. This is a bit early in the season to be thinking about tan lines, but you'll get them soon. Now, this is a source of debate, because some people take great pride in their tan lines on their legs - so much so that they line up the edge of their shorts with a freaking straight edge level before their daily ride. But, if you want to avoid having silly cyclist tan lines, try wearing your shorts at different lengths or rolling up your sleeves now and then when it's sunny. But whatever you do, don't ride in bibs but no jersey!
5. Gloves. gloves are your friends. Now I, like many others, will never wear gloves on a training ride on a nice summer day. Who the heck wants mid-finger tan lines? But! No matter WHAT the weather condition is, you should ALWAYS wear gloves in a race. Anyone who has ever seen the bone of their knuckle or had to scrape gravel and dirt out of their palms will tell you the same. The likelihood of a crash in a race is plenty of motivation to never race without gloves.
6. The little black plastic stem cover that twists onto the valve of a new tube. Useless. sometimes the tube will also come with some sort of threaded washer-type thing around the outside of the stem too. Also useless. Get rid of these!
7. Your chamois = your friend. We can't harp on the chamois enough, so again...
   (a) if you are on your bike, wear the chamois. hopefully we all know this by now. If all your bike shorts are in the laundry, do your laundry before going for a ride as opposed to pulling one out of the hamper or going for a ride without a chamois.
   (b) No you should NOT wear underwear with your chamois!!!
   (c) Yes your chamois is your friend, but only during the time you are actually riding your bike. As soon as you are off your bike, de-chamois!! Trust me. Chamois time is training time, and there is no other time you should be wearing your chamois.
8. Cotton is the fabric of our lives, but not of bike racing. I can think of zero instances on a bike where the preferable clothing choice on any part of your body is cotton. Whether it's really hot or really cold or really wet, none of these weather conditions are ones in which cotton will keep you comfortable. If it's cold you will get colder, if it's hot then your clothing won't breathe properly, and if it's wet then you'll get cold! Non-cotton socks are best in any weather - like smart wools or wool defeet socks for cold weather, or thin breathable socks for hot weather. No socks will keep you warm when wet, so look into booties when it's rainy / really cold out. As for top layering, find some synthetic layers to keep warm on cold days, and a wind-proof outer layer
9. Lawyer tabs - talk to an experienced teammate about these bad boys.
10. Leg shaving! You've just gotta do it man. Seriously. Does anyone really know why bike racers shave their legs? I sure as hell don't, but it's just a fact of life that you'll have to accept. If you just can't bring yourself to take a razor to your legs, think of fun ways to make it into a team bonding event or a party. For instance, next time you're at a hotel with your teammates, ask for a complimentary disposable plastic razor from the front desk. Even these one-blade beauties will do the trick, but if this is your first time shaving your legs, it may be wise to pre-trim with some scissors first. So, take your complimentary razor to the bathroom (preferably the bathroom of your female teammates if you really want to make the ladies swoon), sit in the tub, and go for it. Leave at least an hour to do this, and be prepared to go back to the desk and ask for additional razors. Or, if you need your beauty rest on race weekends and don't have time for shaving then, do it at your next team party. In fact, have teammates take turns shaving your legs for you so you can relax and sit on the couch and hydrate while they initiate you into true bike racer coolness.

Amy